This moon reminds us that every month the shadow must inevitably fall across our lives. There is a time to let go, to mourn, and let the old pass away. A time to rest and to let be, to allow our souls to B R E A T H E. As the light of the moon fades, we are asked to call upon our senses beyond sight. Taste, touch, smell, hear -- to FEEL what is happening inside our bodies and come home to ourselves. To partner with this moon phase, we begin to turn inward, to tune into our felt senses and anchor ourselves in our body.
With gratitude and surrender, we let God work out the details as we focus on gathering ourselves home through the senses for the shedding that is about to happen.
It's also a time of harvesting and reaping what we have sown. As we begin to turn inward we can take stock of how the past few weeks have been for us, and review our lives with compassion and gentleness, fiercely calling ourselves into account for our greatness.
This moon is reflective of the autumn season, and also of the woman's luteal phase in her fertility cycle.
Flowing freely is the theme of the upcoming season until the Dark Moon. To prepare our bodies to bleed and release the old, we practice relaxing into the soft, wild, feminine body.
You may notice that you begin to "nest" during this time, and want to stay indoors, or stay at home and get your affairs in order.
For me, I usually want to rearrange my furnitue in my home during this phase! I suddenly want to bake, or cook slow simmered meals with lots of herbs and broth. I burn a lot of Palo Santo during this phase, and tend overly much to my plant babies. I also can become very critical of my wardrobe during this time, as I am keenly and acutely aware of comfort and ease and what fits well and what doesn't. Feeling comfortable in my clothing is always of utmost importance to me during this phase and moon season.
This is also the phase where the attention andtending we gave ourselves during the follicular and ovulatory phases shows up the most, or the lack of. As the veil is becoming thin, I am suddenly more aware of what I really and truly want, and how I want it. I am keenly aware of the ways I may have been compromising on my truth, or neglecting my needs, and putting myself last and usually my innermost self has a lot to say about it. If I don't tune in and listen, she may throw a tantrum inside my head that can often seep into my relationships.
There is a wisdom that this phase holds that is unique to this season. There is a gift here, if we can receive it. During the phases when energy is heightened, we can become so outward focused that we neglect our inner world. If we have, this season will reveal that to us. During this season, as the moon is beginning to pull the quilt up over herself and tuck herself into her little self care cocoon, we can learn much from her and soulfully and spiritually do the same. This is the time where we priortize our tending and self caring.
Something that I often see happen with my clients during this time, is that as they are becoming acutely aware of their needs and desires (the veil is becoming thin, remember, and suddenly things are made clear that may have been clouded before) they also become aware of their compromises and the way they have allowed others to take advantage of them. They become aware of the ways they have allowed themselves to be silenced or neglected. And often they decide that enough is enough, they will not allow it any longer.
In an effort to self advocate, and put their foot down, they unleash their truth in a spew of verbiage much like fire from a machine gun, and even innocents may get caught up in the spray of bullet words and fire. Often, the woman feels she has finally unburdened herself and spoken her truth, so she feels MUCH better, relieved, and heard, possibly even understood. She is adamant, and doesn't apologize because this was simply an expression of her Kali-like wrath she believes. She may even congratulate herself for sharing her truth in honesty.
I want to warn you darling, that when words become weapons, it is violence. It is abuse. This is not how we share our truth, this is not open hearted rage or holy anger. This is pummeling people to make up for the ways we have victimized ourselves and compromised on our values, and neglected our own needs, forsaken our honesty and integrity. I have seen countless women abuse their loved ones during their luteal phase in the name of honest communication and not take responsibility for the harm they cause.
This is a misuse of the gift of the luteal phase. The fire, the truth, the attunement to your needs and desires, knowing exactly how you want it and like it -- these are GIFTS and when wielded by a "wounded mother" (AKA martyr) she may shoot herself in the foot, and her loved ones in the mouth. But when wielded by the healed and mature mother, they become like the thigh-high boots worn by the dominatrix, or the crown worn by the queen, the scepter held by the priestess. They add to her authority and her intrigue.
This is a good time to share and speak your truth, AND to do it from a place of open-hearted love. Is there a place for a woman'srage? Absolutely. Like the wild waters of the ocean, the feminine must not be tamed or it will die. AND the open-hearted rage, the rage spoken from Love, it lands differently than the closed-hearted anger of the martyr who is sick of shutting her own self down and up, and projects it outward in the name of "truth" and getting it off her chest in "honest communication."
True rage is like art. It evokes something from the witness. It doesn't shut them DOWN, or condemn them. It invites them UP. It doesn't do harm, it doesn't abuse. I am not saying it may not evoke pain. Sometimes the mirror offered to us by a woman's rage causes us to see a reflection that pains us. I am only saying there is a marked difference. The she-bear protecting the cubs may evoke pain, and even suffering. But she isn't doing it from a place of self martyrdom. This is where SELF KNOWING and SELF EMBODIMENT comes in, darling.
You must know yourself well enough to recognize when what you feel is self inflicted, and when it is from the outside. Let your luteal phase be a seasonal invitation into deeper and greater self knowing and self embodiment. As the veil becomes thinner, may you begin to see the ways you have self abdicated. And may you be tender with yourself, even in your rage or grief. May you mother yourself well during this phase, so that you may mother others when necessary. May you be gentle and fierce with yourself in open-hearted love.
If you notice yourself getting triggered as you read about the verbal abuse many women succumb to during their luteal phase, please take a deep breath and keep reading.
You will notice I am not condemning a woman's rage or anger or domesticating her, but seeking to un-leash women to be free to express their authentic rage and anger, from an open heart.
When women express their rage and anger from a closed heart, it blunts the blow. This does more damage on the surface and it won't penetrate the way a woman's anger can. Essentially, if you truly want to be effective then sharing from an open heart is key. Closed hearted feminine rage is abusive and ineffective to evoke lasting change. It castrates. It domesticates. (both men and women) This is the feminine anger that damaged us when we were young. It's not what we want to pass on. We will change the world not by abusing it through the abusive anger of the martyred mom but by the open hearted wrath of the incensed mother.
Evoke a woman's anger and expect her wrath. "For the female of the species is more deadly than the. male." wrote Rudyard Kipling. May we learn the power of our unfettered love in anger, our open hearts in rage, our holy desire in wrath.
An angry woman is to be respected. An abusive woman is to be feared. May our loved ones honor us, and not cower in our presence. EVEN when we are in our luteal phase. May we tend to our own needs so we don't project them outward. May we not be martyrs but be true mothers.
** I do not have children, I do not speak of biological mothers here, but archetypal mothers. The mother essence that is in all women.